Coincidently, I posted about this on Blue yesterday.
Since I was a little boy, I spent hours thinking. I was obsessed with the idea of infinity age 6. Mum said she'd leave me sitting in a room and when she came back, I'd be there still, staring into space.
Went on into teens. I played football, went thieving, vandalism, the usual, but still spent hours thinking and imagining. I couldn't read till late, dyslexic. When I left school and started to read, I read the philosophers and found it was just stuff I'd thought as a kid.
I heard others say it blew their mind, made them think, opened their eyes, etc. But to me, it was things I already knew. None of it was a revelation to me. It was natural thinking. Instinct. Common sense. I was surprised others found it so astonishing.
I didn't pass any exams and never did homework, so I had time to think. I also had psychosis from a young age and had visions since I was little. Remember being aware I could see what others can't age 6. So my mind was different to others from young.
I was ill a lot n'all. Hated school so I blagged illness a lot as a boy. I also was mad and spent time off for that too. I reckon being alone a lot like that in altered states of mind made a difference n'all. Just thinking while in altered states of consciousness. Observing.
I reckon a lot of Buddhism ain't too dissimilar to Nietzsche. I love doing fuck all. Absolutely nothing is under rated. Favourite activity is no activity. I also have long periods of avolition, due to being schizophrenic. Staring at the wall. Or me shoe laces. The Abyss. Nowhere Void.
I stole a book called Mind Power age 9. Simple exercises of mind power from self-hypnosis, meditation, visualisation, active imagination, to telepathy. I mastered them all by age 13. Solo mission. Never told the other boys.
I later learnt other forms of meditation. Taught meself folk magic, black magic, hermetic, esoteric wisdom. All on me jack. I never like being part of a group and hate authority. I don't understand conformity and I'm incapable of it.
That's why I couldn't do school, or hold down a job. My magic protected me from police and gangsters for 30 years. Never did a day inside. Survived so many deaths. I had a long time to sit and do nothing. Years of heroin addiction is good for that.
Coincidently, I posted about this on Blue yesterday.
Since I was a little boy, I spent hours thinking. I was obsessed with the idea of infinity age 6. Mum said she'd leave me sitting in a room and when she came back, I'd be there still, staring into space.
Went on into teens. I played football, went thieving, vandalism, the usual, but still spent hours thinking and imagining. I couldn't read till late, dyslexic. When I left school and started to read, I read the philosophers and found it was just stuff I'd thought as a kid.
I heard others say it blew their mind, made them think, opened their eyes, etc. But to me, it was things I already knew. None of it was a revelation to me. It was natural thinking. Instinct. Common sense. I was surprised others found it so astonishing.
I didn't pass any exams and never did homework, so I had time to think. I also had psychosis from a young age and had visions since I was little. Remember being aware I could see what others can't age 6. So my mind was different to others from young.
I was ill a lot n'all. Hated school so I blagged illness a lot as a boy. I also was mad and spent time off for that too. I reckon being alone a lot like that in altered states of mind made a difference n'all. Just thinking while in altered states of consciousness. Observing.
I reckon a lot of Buddhism ain't too dissimilar to Nietzsche. I love doing fuck all. Absolutely nothing is under rated. Favourite activity is no activity. I also have long periods of avolition, due to being schizophrenic. Staring at the wall. Or me shoe laces. The Abyss. Nowhere Void.
I stole a book called Mind Power age 9. Simple exercises of mind power from self-hypnosis, meditation, visualisation, active imagination, to telepathy. I mastered them all by age 13. Solo mission. Never told the other boys.
I later learnt other forms of meditation. Taught meself folk magic, black magic, hermetic, esoteric wisdom. All on me jack. I never like being part of a group and hate authority. I don't understand conformity and I'm incapable of it.
That's why I couldn't do school, or hold down a job. My magic protected me from police and gangsters for 30 years. Never did a day inside. Survived so many deaths. I had a long time to sit and do nothing. Years of heroin addiction is good for that.
This is very timely for me. Thank you so much.