I wrote this in October 2007, for Radio 3’s The Verb, as a bit of fun.
But also to illustrate how subtly different the same piece of writing might be if all you changed within it was the indefinite to the definite article.
This was the third of the very difficult writing challenges set for me by poet-presenter Ian McMillan and by the producers of the Verb.
I’ll be really interested to see what anyone comes up with for this one. It’s not terribly restrictive — not like the challenges coming up — but exploiting a/the to narrative effect is tricky.
The Indefinite Article — A
‘I’m a man,’ he thought, sinking back into his bath. ‘And I do everything that a man should do. I pay my dues. I get my round in. No-one can say I don’t. And, if it comes to it, I can always get a job done.’
Outside, a police siren came into earshot. He listened. It got louder and louder, then stopped. A car door opened and shut. He waited and waited. A moment passed.
‘They’re not after me,’ he thought. Just then came a knock on his front door.
‘Damn,’ he said.
Dripping water, he stood up, stepped from his bath and wrapped a towel around his waist. When he opened his front door, a policeman was standing on his doorstep.
‘Good evening, sir. Sorry to disturb you. My name is P.C. John Doe.’
‘Really?’ he asked.
‘Yes,’ said P.C. Doe. ‘Can I come in?’
‘Why not?’ he replied. ‘I always help Her Majesty’s Constabulary whenever I can.’
‘Thank you, sir,’ said P.C. Doe, stepping inside.
They went through into a small kitchen.
‘What do you want?’ he asked.
P.C. Doe looked around himself, inspecting everything in sight. Then, quite casually, he said, ‘I’ve come to ask you a question.’
‘Yes?’ he said.
‘It’s about a murder,’ said P.C. Doe.
‘But I don’t know anything about a murder, officer.’
‘You’re sure about that?’
‘Absolutely.’
‘Then you’ve answered my question.’
However, P.C. Doe made no move to leave.
‘Yes, officer,’ he said. ‘Is there anything else?’
‘Not for now,’ said P.C. Doe, and allowed himself to be shown out.
He breathed deeply to calm himself down, and then went to his jacket and pulled out a cellphone.
Fingers shaking, he dialled a number.
A voice answered.
‘Yes,’ it said.
‘Hi, it’s me. I’ve just had a visit. P.C. John Doe. He wanted to know about a murder. I told him I didn’t know anything. Because, of course, I don’t, do I? P.C. Doe. You know what to do about it, don’t you? You know how people generally deal with this sort of business. If you come round, we can discuss it.’
He hung up, then went and poured himself three fingers of scotch whisky.
The Definite Article — THE
‘I’m the man,’ he thought, sinking back into his bath. ‘And I do everything that the man should do. I pay my dues. I get my round in. No-one can say I don’t. And, if it comes to it, I can always get the job done.’
Outside, the police siren came into earshot. He listened. It got louder and louder, then stopped. The car door opened and shut. He waited and waited. The moment passed.
‘They’re not after me,’ he thought. Just then came the knock on his front door.
‘Damn,’ he said.
Dripping water, he stood up, stepped from his bath and wrapped the towel around his waist. When he opened his front door, the policeman was standing on his doorstep.
‘Good evening, sir. Sorry to disturb you. My name is PC John Doe.’
‘Really?’ he asked.
‘Yes,’ said P.C. Doe. ‘Can I come in?’
‘Why not?’ he replied. ‘I always help Her Majesty’s Constabulary whenever I can.’
‘Thank you, sir,’ said P.C. Doe, stepping inside.
They went through into the small kitchen.
‘What do you want?’ he asked.
P.C. Doe looked around himself, inspecting everything in sight. Then, quite casually, he said, ‘I’ve come to ask you the question.’
‘Yes?’ he said.
‘It’s about the murder,’ said P.C.Doe.
‘But I don’t know anything about the murder, officer.’
‘You’re sure about that?’
‘Absolutely.’
‘Then you’ve answered my question.’
However, P.C. Doe made no move to leave.
‘Yes, officer,’ he said. ‘Is there anything else?’
‘Not for now,’ said P.C. Doe, and allowed himself to be shown out.
He breathed deeply to calm himself down, and then went to his jacket and pulled out the cellphone.
Fingers shaking, he dialled the number.
The voice answered.
‘Yes,’ it said.
‘Hi, it’s me. I’ve just had the visit. P.C. John Doe. He wanted to know about the murder. I told him I didn’t know anything. Because, of course, I don’t, do I? P.C. Doe. You know what to do about it, don’t you? You know how people generally deal with this sort of business. If you come round, we can discuss it.’
He hung up, then went and poured himself three fingers of scotch whisky.
I often struggle with this (not having a further education in English language). I can't put my finger on why one works better than another. It just 'sounds' better in a specific context. The definite article often sounds more specific, presumptive, or even accusatory.
Where the cleverly wrought comparison breaks down for me in these examples is when the policeman asks his question only in reply to a statement, instead of boldly stating it from the off. Otherwise 'the' holds the forewarned presumption I was referring to.
Is this how they are supposed to differ?
Excellent, except for the very last word. Scotch is “whisky”, not “whiskey”.